Yeah Good Morning,
Whoop-dee-frickin-doo. It's time for this blog to get movin'. As you already know, the televisual program "Turned On" received three unusual callers last Tuesday.
We need to make this a long-term project, because the hosts deserve every single ounce of embarrassment and shame they can possibly have the capacity to feel.
To all of our readers, both of you, I ask that you advertise next Tuesday's show enthusiastically and with great vigor. We want "Carl from West Quad" to be the fourth cast member of this show. We also want as many copy-cats as we can encourage.
Imagine the 30-minute show having to cancel a 7-minute piece on fruit-flavored body paint because 5 jerks from the South Jersey shore won't stop calling:
"Hey, I wanna make a shout out to my girl who I know is watchin this at the bus station or somethin: just cause I'm on the TV don't magically mean I got food money for you."
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Shit, man. I don't know if I have any friends that both go to this school and are inimitable. I'd make Strafe a contributor, but I might need his gruff warble :/ And I had creative friends at State, but they can't watch the show. Inspirational road trip to The Meadowlands, guys?
ReplyDeleteI'm working on something. Tell me if it's lame or too fucked up. Are you guys familiar with phantom limbs? Like, when you get a leg amputated and it still feels like it's there? Well, I was thinking about calling in to complain about a phantom penis. I'd start with a quick explanation of "hemipenisensis" and then go into some problems of the condition, like how my girlfriend won't wince when the phantom penis pokes her in the eye as she sucks the physical, real one. A-dubs said something about a question of how many manhoods can be legally grafted to your person. I like that one, and I think Carl would love it, too. Eric said something about ass herpes on facebook. That could get awesome and graphic.
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